“I’VE FINISHED MY FIRST YEAR!” Drama School Diaries (DSD) Part 27

27 Jul


Didn’t it go by quickly..I can’t believe it…there was May 22nd 2009 and when I found out I got in..September 12th when I first went there as a student…and now…officially finished my first year.

I was trying to recap in my head the process and I kind of can for once.

Never in my life have I learnt so much about the world in such a short space of time. I’ve met people and been to places that had it not been for Guildhall I would have NEVER met or been to. It’s had difficult periods..it’s had amazing times, but on the whole, I have loved every single minute, and those little nooks and crannies I detested seem to be the ones that have been the most fruitful in terms of my growth as an individual.

Some people strongly believe that we are products of our environments, in that our history and life experiences with people in our past dictate how we interact with people in our present. I believe this to an extent. As a working class chick whose parents are african migrants who met no one else except for people relatively just like me I reckon my outlook on life was strongly determined by my upbringing, and by more recent transition into a relationship with my Father.

Going to Guildhall was scary because I knew that the majority of people would have a very opposing history to mine in most ways, and instead of calming myself down and leaving myself open to anything I became paranoid and based my view on the general ‘middle-upper-classness’ of Guildhall on those I’d met in my past; those that only shoved a poorly dressed, vomit inducing stereotype of a ‘modern middle/upper classer’  in my face.

That was September ’09…now it’s July ’10 and I can honestly say I have met the loveliest of people, people who aren’t afraid to admit that we are different, that aren’t afraid to admit that when we met we judged each other; within that very lack of fear there is LIBERTY and LOVE. People like Drury, Phelan, Smith, Laing, Donnelly, Blackhall, Kendrick, Doe, Dearsley, Walker,…there’s loads, I really have come to love these people, and they’re parents own their homes! Some of them even have homes outside of the UK..but they aren’t poofy idiots…they are soooooo down to earth and great!

Don’t get me wrong; there are definitely some people who are poofy idiots and have used their parents money and occupations to shape the whole of their identities…but I’m slowly learning not to respond to those people in angst..one time when I had really bad thoughts and angel told me I should actually feel sorry for those people. I agreed and I’ve promised myself to imbed this into my mind. If your whole identity is cemented in the bricks of your posh house that’s quite sad…because one day your house will fall down…and then who are you ?

I grew up not having those things, but my identity was not built around the fact that I LACKED because I didn’t know anyone who DIDN’T LACK! I’m so blessed…I’m so blessed to LACK. I’m realising this more and more day by day. And I know: I’m not in africa walking 3 miles to get water and living in a hut; I’m not that poor lol. I’ve grown up with enough to sustain me and not enough to over sustain me.

I speak quickly and loudly because I’ve spent my life around loud and quick people; this is London. I’ve met people who speak slowly and quietly, and realising they speak like that because they have never had to combat the problem of being interrupted or muted is pretty deep.

I’ve realised there are things I can take from them, values such as social confidence, communication with strangers, their general knowledge on various topics, their articulation. And I take it willingly and gladly knowing there within me exists an equal amount they too can take; strength, determination, hustle, defiance, integrity, my soul-tie to my principles, and occasional grace.

Anyway…I’ll still be blogging about poetry/music but until September this will be it for Drama School Diaries 😦 I’ll miss you!!! Second year begins in 7 weeks! Bring on the Political Project, Musical, Restoration and Shakespeare!! I thought I’d leave below here some of my personal best bits of DRAMA SCHOOL DIARIES 1st year…lol enjoy!

“Sometimes class is like THE ARMY or some kind of HITLER FAT CAMP…other times it’s like the AA or The Priory…we come together for a few hours and share our scars… some people have big scars… some people have small ones, some people have deep scars, others just have bruises. Seeing someone elses wounds make you realise how much yours hurt sometimes…Drama School is a great experience..”

Part One


Part Two

“…Not so much the physical doing things…it’s the mental side, it’s highlighting out all my defense mechanisms…the ones I made for myself in the playground of Bishop Challoner Catholic Collegiate Girls Campus…the sarcasm and rude attitude that I formed to make myself appear strong…it’s bringing them back; dangling them in my face; and laughing at how weak they really are…and have always been…”

Part Three

“See every moment in your life as a bus stop. The reason why you may still be at the same place is NOT because you’re not going anywhere (‘coz you wouldn’t be at a bus stop if you weren’t would you?!). It is because the bus has just not come yet…some moments pass quickly…and for some of us unfortunately those have usually been the good times. Other moments seem like forever…which for others is sometimes the saddening times.”

Part Eight

“So I think I’ve figured it out…it’s not so much COLOUR as it is CLASS. I was born into a working class home, we were 2 families to a one bedroom flat and my parents were immigrants without papers; this is where I’ve come from, and it’s not like we are flagging the banner of wealth and new money now. My life experiences of being a working class child/teen has anchored my view of the world. And it’s a great view, I like it…

…And a little message to the performance industry (including the gospel one); promoters, website runners, artists, churches; listen homies hehe: I’m going places…the difference is; I don’t care as much as you, I do this because I love it, and I will continue to speak the truth without watering it down, I do it because I like to encourage people and I seriously LOVE all the people who come to see me! I couldn’t give a toss about bluddy awards, or being the popular amongst the young black church; I’m a 22yr old single girl who is daring to open her mouth and shout out the crazy truth unprettied by gospel hoodeeha’s- I mean, it’s never gonna be popular is it? I’m also not going to start riding on the success of my male counterparts in order to try to justify or validate myself in your eyes. I couldn’t care less. I do what I do, and like IYDLIT says; if you don’t like it TOUGH. And to those who don’t support; if you look to the right of this screen, in the top corner there’s an ‘X’.

Take Your Mouse Up There And Click it”

Part Nine

“One thing I’m learning right now is that one of the first things you have to learn in order to be a good leader, is that there are people who are not leaders that could lead better than you.”

Part Twelve

“In the words of a jafrican working class urban limp walking ‘survivor’: BUN YOU BLAD”

Part Twenty-Six

You’ve got a lot of my lovings, for a long long time…

Michaela The Poet


2 Responses to ““I’VE FINISHED MY FIRST YEAR!” Drama School Diaries (DSD) Part 27”

  1. TheatreMad87 August 1, 2010 at 5:29 pm #

    Wow, Michaela!

    I’ve been reading these diaries with obvious interest, and I have to say there is a lot I’m looking forward to, and some stuff I’m genuinely terrified of! In any case, it seems like the first year is an education all in itself, and that’s why we do this to ourselves!

    I love the blog, and I’ll be back for more. Do feel free to drop by mine sometime. It might be interesting for you to read how I receive it all…


  2. Rachel Okay July 30, 2010 at 10:26 am #

    May 22nd… “I am beautiful” :O)

    I speak quickly and loudly because I’ve spent my life around loud and quick people; this is London. I’ve met people who speak slowly and quietly, and realising they speak like that because they have never had to combat the problem of being interrupted or muted is pretty deep.
    – mmmmmm interesting

    I really liked the “best bits”… was a nice trip down memory lol


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