Think Twice Chick

10 Oct

I was having a conversation with a friend last week. She was saying she wanted to become more forthright with ‘guys’. When it comes to the time when she quite likes someone (you know..in THAT way of ways?) she wants to be able to just open her mouth and tell them

“I like you”

It takes courage she said…”I want more courage”. She claimed her natural instinct ‘like most women’, is to hang around, figure out what’s on the guys mind, wait, hang around a bit more..drop subtle abstract words, maybe put one ‘X’ at the end of the text (‘Coz she’s never done that before so SURELY he would notice that)…do the waiting thing again…say something abstract again…questionable text…hang around, and the cycle begins again.

I had to interject..because, apparently unlike the majority of my fellow females, I find it hard to keep my mouth CLOSED about these things.

From when I was in like, Year 3, explaining to Michael G. that I’d be his girlfriend for a while-

-cut to when I was 13; explaining to 19yr old Efe that I liked him and thought he should give me a chance-

-cut to me in a rave at 17 years old, drawin’ (i.e going up to and chatting up) the guy (i’ll stop naming names now as these people may at some stage stumble upon this very blog LOL) that would later be my boyfriend

-cut to the final scene…3 yrs ago telling No.4 that I like him and “just thought I should say in case it’s weird..erm so yahhh…It’s not like I wanna do anything about it..just saying innit”-

Michael G. and I lasted three days

Efe laughed in my face and said I was cute

The Guy..well that ended when I started going out the Bible

And No.4 kinda laughed in my face too LOL except it wasn’t so cute past the age of 16…it was just awkward.

My point is…don’t do it..seriously. I mean I guess there is no YES or NO involved, nothing’s black and white blah blah blah..but my personal opinion from lessons learned?

DON’T BOTHER…because this is what happens;

Silly guys (the silly ones) are more than happy to flirt with you; reply to your text and leave that ‘X’ at the end..then when you leave two ‘X’s’ they leave two; allowing YOU to take it as a sign that he likes you while HE takes it as a sign that you wanna play a temporary meaningless game..a game like X BOX or Pro; keeps guys entertained, doesn’t lead them any closer to their purpose in life or fulfil them emotionally/spiritually or mentally and like X Box/Pro- guys like to win- and whenever there’s a winner, there’s a looser; he wins your heart, you loose your dignity. And as you sit there like a GOOSE waiting for the phone to ring like a muppet, he is still playing Pro or X Box baby girl..you know why? Because he has no idea you exist. And when he finds out you do..depending on how you’ve put yourself across, he might just return to his game of Pro and laugh about it with his boys in between games.

And you know what I bet you’re doing right now, Miss I-Want-Courage? You’re weighing up in your head how likely it is that he likes you, aren’t you?. You’re thinking well..we talk everyday…we don’t flirt but…I swear he had this LOOK in his eye that time when

QUIT IT.

It exists only in your head, get it out, it doesn’t exist anywhere else. You think he’s playing games with you because one minute he says this, then the next that, and you’re both BLATANTLY on facebook chat and he ain’t saying NOTHING and you ain’t saying NOTHING ‘coz you don’t wanna make the first move ‘coz you wanna keep the BALL IN YOUR COURT

Well let me tell you something honey; you ain’t mesaged him ‘coz you’re over thinking, he ain’t messaged YOU ‘coz he ain’t got a clue you’re there, he’s not at the computer screen, HE’S PLAYING X BOX.

If you look at the situation…analyse it properly; you will find that the ball IS in your court; so well done…but it’s a game for ONE, do you understand me?

YOU   ARE   PLAYING   ON    YOUR    OWN

A machine is spitting out tennis balls and you’re batting them back into space; that machine is your mind; the balls are the fast and assuming thoughts you’ve garnered over the last God knows how long. You’ve got things to do; you’ve got a life to live..Live it.

You will soon meet the man that isn’t playing X BOX after you text; he’ll stop the game  (if he’s playing it :-S, hopefully not) and call you back because YOU ARE INTERESTING and he wants to talk to you. But even then…PLEASE don’t go and tell the man you like him, take it to God, get some advice from HIM…put your concentration on God because He is the one person that will never fail you! Talk to him about the guy, talk to your friends, and after your friends get sick of hearing about it (which will be pretty quick) talk to God again, ask Him to look after your romantic feelings for you until you are ready to own them and CONTROL them..

Why not wait for the man to tell you…? If he’s a man, he’s man enough to do that, and if he’s a man; he’s praying too and will tell you in the right time. Try ‘SHOWING‘ a guy you like him (I’m not saying play footsie with him under the table and stick your bum out and flick your hair in his face), show him by caring for him that little bit more than you do for the average person; allowing your actions to make him distinct from all the others and not your words…and see what happens, maybe? Like I said before; this doesn’t apply to everyone..only to those that NEED to hear it.

All the best,

Michaela

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23 Responses to “Think Twice Chick”

  1. MzFr3Butterfly October 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm #

    Great read Michaela and a blog a lot of ladies and guys need to read!!

    Keep doing you baby girl xxx

  2. DxD October 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    OMG girrrrrrrrrrrl!! Stop exposing our lives!! The way this blog exposed my life is HA-LA-RIOUS!! Keep the conviction coming Michaela

  3. Maria October 13, 2010 at 11:56 am #

    Awesome… keep it up

  4. AJ October 12, 2010 at 4:34 pm #

    I know that EXACT feeling! I did it 3 times! The first was in high school. I’d liked this guy for almost 3 years before telling him. And as I did with the other 2, I sent a message on a social networking site, lol. I told him I’d liked him, and he said he appreciated it, but wasn’t looking for a relationship, but we could be friends (I HATE THAT WORD SOMETIMES, LOL). Fast forward to freshman year of college, (A moment I will NEVER forget), my best friend called me 2:00 a.m., and as soon as I said hello, he said OMG…ROCK IS GAY (And it wasn’t the 1st time I’d had a crush on a gay guy & didn’t know it), but it hurt me really bad because I would see him in church, praising God (which is beautiful to me to see a MAN openly worshiping God), reading his Bible, etc., and he never came off as homosexual, and at that moment, I knew my chance with him was officially OUT THE WINDOW lol! Anyway, the next 2 guys I told were in college. The 1st I told I didn’t want a response (kinda hoping to get 1). The 2nd was 2 years later. I KNEW he was the one because he was EVERYTHING I ‘d been praying for, so I told him. Forgetting that I asked God to send me a FRIEND with all of those qualities and traits, I sent the msg, receiving that *oh so dreaded* I don’t like you that way. It took even longer to get over him because we became friends, (OF COURSE because I prayed for a FRIEND), & and I saw him almost EVERY DAY, which wasn’t easy, and awkward, for me at least.

    That’s my little rant. Take Michaela’s advice, DON’T DO IT! Wait for him. I promised myself after the last one that I would make sure I prayed to God for a husband, not a friend, because the Lord gave me EXACTLY what I wanted in the last guy, He gave me a friend.

  5. Eden Restored October 12, 2010 at 1:02 am #

    thanks for this one! thoughtful and witty, but always enriching

  6. Shaunett October 11, 2010 at 11:00 pm #

    Hmmm… nice. I agree with all you’ve said. And so, it seems do the boys. However, why do boys still do it? Is it because there’re so many girls to choose from, they can have 3/4 girls on the ‘go’ till they hear the ‘voice of the Lord’ one day when praying and pick a girl to text xxx to?
    Imagine how we feel when a guy tells us he likes us and we clearly don’t feel the same way, what do we do? Stop returning his calls & texts and just say ‘hi’ when we see him next? Or do we say ‘I don’t feel the same way & I don’t hear the Lord tellin me anything either’ or do we say ‘I’ll pray about it & get back to u’?
    What is the right thing to do, hmm? It’s a toughie. Maybe the marrieds can tell us how it goes. That would be the ‘happily marrieds’ not the ‘just plodding along cos we’ve been together for 10 yrs marrieds’
    xx

  7. Adam October 11, 2010 at 8:00 pm #

    This is so true.

    I applaud you Michaela for your insight and ability to share your experiences with us. These words will change someone’s life.

    I’m gonna write a blog about this myself i think. Thanks for the inspiration.

    adambrux.tumblr.com

  8. August October 11, 2010 at 7:15 pm #

    Yep, so true. All this “advice” about letting a guy knw you like him and making the first move – nonsense! Even the shyest guy will make his move if the girl is right, and if he can’t muster up the courage, well he’s probably not the kind you want anyway. Let a man be a man I say, ladies don’t ave to do a thing. Hunting is what they do, let them do it! x

  9. Maya Simeon October 11, 2010 at 11:29 am #

    lol… *applauding* LOVE it hun! x

  10. Tolita October 11, 2010 at 10:26 am #

    Amen and amen again Michaela! I’m one of those with the propensity to be overt with how I feel. As you said these flirty exchanges are little more than an ego boost for the man which he’ll quickly forget once the lady is out of sight. Heck I once had this gay man I liked (I was in denial) playing the same head games. Sad to say Christian men are as guilty of this as anyone else…maybe more so because they can hide behind the ‘waiting for my rightful wife’ excuse whilst testing the waters/being emotionally promiscuous. It’s sad but we live and, hopefully, learn. It’s tough holding onto our dignity though in a society which bases much of a woman’s value on how she can attract a man. By the grace of God we’ll overcome. Thanks for this Lady M.

    Shalom x

    • Big Sis October 11, 2010 at 11:07 am #

      “waiting for my rightful wife”. indeed! this is it to a tee!

      • Tolita October 11, 2010 at 1:49 pm #

        Thanks Big Sis! I’m not sure though, on second thoughts, about the last bit of Michaela’s advice about showing a man you like special attention, going the extra mile etc…I think that can be a dangerous plan if no relationship is yet established. Until it’s confirmed let the man make the effort. Women are always giving so much of themselves with men happy to sit back and enjoy it. From the perspective of some1 who has done that in the past, all that ‘doing a little bit more’ just leads to the would-be beau taking emotional advantage.

        Shalom x

      • Big Sis October 11, 2010 at 7:37 pm #

        Agreed, yet again!x

  11. Elias October 11, 2010 at 10:17 am #

    Very precise and true. Good blog once again! 😉

  12. Faith Child October 11, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    Very good read. I would love to see it from a males perspective. Any takers!?

  13. Fum Fum October 11, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    I’m retweeting and posting this on facebook. Good advice.. especially the end.

  14. waikisays October 11, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    Couldn’t have said it better. I love this! I want so many of my friends to read this, because they NEED to! lol

  15. SPIRIT October 11, 2010 at 7:59 am #

    Triple O beat me to it. From a guys perspective you got it right. You really amaze me Sis. Your gift for turning your own life experiences into life lessons for others is priceless. Really hope you never change.

    x (the really kind from your bro)

  16. Big Sis October 11, 2010 at 5:10 am #

    Yup. This is a torturous game, only ending in your own disappointment. If he likes you, he’ll tell you. There’ll be no need to look for signs and signals. A womans interpretation of a mans thoughts is seldom correct. The ones that will ‘flirt’ with no intentions, simply enjoy the exchange. Keep close to God, He will guard your heart if you let Him. x

  17. Gasping4Air: Breaths On A Page October 11, 2010 at 1:24 am #

    I love this. And speaking from a guy’s perspective, you have hit the nail on the head. A very good read. LADIES, PLEASE TAKE NOTE…

  18. oceanisdeep October 11, 2010 at 12:49 am #

    beautiful xxx

  19. Rachel Okay October 10, 2010 at 11:33 pm #

    u win!
    #thatisall

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  1. 2010 in Blog Stats! Thank YOU GUYS!!!! « www.michaelathepoet.com - January 3, 2011

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