TIRED OF THAT Volume II : People

18 Jan

Jheeze, men and women that actually believe their apparent ‘good looks’ are a gift from God. Let me break something down to you…the concept of ‘good looks’ is not a permanent thing- it’s a trend, and it changes with time, ‘chinky eyes’ are IN NOW, please don’t sit there and say it’s a gift from God because in 10 years time when ‘chinky eyes’ are OUT you’ll be kicking yourself and looking for that scripture about ‘the gift of good looks’ that you never read.

Women…

Women that say they ‘need to get their confidence back’ you’ve been saying that since 1992, maybe you need to actually GET IT instead of sitting there saying it whilst you slap your face in the mirror.

“INSECURE” people who are literally in mourning because they think they are ugly, do you know what that kind of insecurity is? It’s VANITY- you care about yourself so much that your whole life is governed by the fact that you don’t think your physically perfect enough- the rest of us don’t think we’re hotties, you know? WE JUST STOPPED CARING WHEN WE THREW OUT THE CINDY AND BARBIE TOYS. Not everyone is going to be called ‘pretty’ get over it, “there are children dying in Africa”.

People that blame themselves for everything; ‘oh my gosh, it was my fault wasn’t it? I’m so sorry’ ‘it’s my fault my fault my fault’ that’s another self-centred thing, it’s not all about you, you know? And I bet every good thing that happened in the world is your fault too…you just keep that stuff to yourself don’t you?

People that say LOL and don’t mean it you are BLATANTLY not laughing ‘coz that wasn’t even funny.

Just advice: if you can see 4 strange lumps on your chest when you look in the mirror you don’t have cancer YOUR BRA IS TOO SMALL

Living with white/asian/weavalicious/mixed girls please take your hair out of the drain.

Girls with weave/bonding that still travel around like gypsies with a mythical story about their hair; it starts with ‘nah, it’s all mine’ then ends with either; ‘I just take care of it’ or ‘my ancestors are white/Indian/anything other than black’.

Which demonic woman goes to a PUBLIC toilet and seems to almost purposefully leave her tampon/pad on the FLOOR..evil.

Girls that compete with other girls! Once you get like that YOU’VE ALREADY LOST (that goes for competitive guys, and competitive artists too!)

People who say dark skinned girls can’t wear lipstick, you’re just jealous :-p

Some random remedial remnant in humanity STILL believe being “light skinned” makes you pretty; dying species, what were you doing whilst people were growing up?

The remnant of humanity that faithfully believe that because they are “light skinned” they can wear and rock any hair-colour, contact lenses, weave & lipstick they want!

People that aspire to be video girls as a career 2011- dignity is free; cheaper than a la senza thong, get it now.

People who think “pretty” is a V.I.P pass to laugh at others and mock those who don’t reach the current social standard of attraction, that makes you uglier than your mirror will ever reveal to you.

‘Nah blad! He don’t drive! No way!’…ERM…sorry..and WHERE is YOUR driving license and vehicle??? Fall back.

Hol tite…

1.the girls who only work out, look fly and get keep their hair in check when they are single…manipulation! #getamanlockthedooronhim

2. the women who got a man then gained three stone, stopped showering, and haven’t retouched their hair since their wedding day #noneedtotryanymorehuh?

Pregnant women that go gym like maniacs then expect you to give them a seat on the bus! YEAH I SAID IT, if you can beat me on the treadmill I technically don’t owe you nothing, I was gonna get up anyway, you don’t need to screw me.

Girls that have babies to get £0.97 p/w rent in nice flats THAT WE ARE PAYING FOR

People that say sorry and don’t mean it “oh my gawd i’m so saaawwrrry. Anyway.” #ifyoudon’tmeanitdon’tsayit

People that don’t wear their glasses because it gives them a dent in their nose DENT or BLIND? Up to you

Men…

Men who believe that every group of girls has an ‘ugly girl’

If you think a tattoo on your face will make u look sexy..ur wrong, now u look weird

Guys that think they are hot because they have curly hair…maybe girls get EVIOUS of that; but envy and attraction are two different things.

Well done to the Males who…

1. Wear sunglasses when there is no extreme lighting and call it ‘stunting’ with their ‘stunners’…a tragically overlooked identity problem

2. Wear only name brands with the logo in clear view for strangers to see; STILL don’t see how jobless and sad it makes them look.

3. POUR CHAMPAGNE ON THE FLOOR TO TRY AND LOOK RICH…that was expensive, what a waste, now you just look dumb, broke and at a loss

People who think interracial relationships are wrong (yaaaawn)

When people at work seem to not wanna get to know you because the requisite for being a good friend has suddenly become getting hammered.

People from the UK that speak with an American twang. What’s worse…people from the UK that speak perfectly normal UK English and then PRAY with an AMERICAN TWANG…’GAAAAD heavenly Fatherrrrr’…makes me feel like your entire relationship with God could be based on your Marvin Sapp collection

People that pretend they don’t have a problem with you when they clearly or secretly DO!

People that stare at Indians/Bengali’s with big bags on trains

PEOPLE THAT ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION..you are SERIOUSLY wasting my time here.

People that can’t make up their mind-UR GROWN time to get on the ball, tick tock tick tock, yep that’s a clock ticking!!

People whose parents are rich, that in turn, grow up to be ignorant, pretentious prats (like they DID something to make their parents rich). These ignorant prats then look at people like ME and assume they have something I want! If having rich parents means I turn out like you then I DEFINITELY do not want what you have. You can’t see how pathetic your life is, and how self-centred you are because the coins plastered on the wall paper in your big brick house keep the cotton wool over your eyes, and the cash stuffed pillows you snore on at night stroke your head and tell you you’re wonderful.

Being given dirty looks in Tesco between 8.30/9am and 5/6pm because I’m not in a business suit WELL I’M SO SORRY I’M IN SCHOOL TRYING TO GET AN EDUCATION AND I’M SORRY I’M INVOLVED IN THE ARTS…WE DON’T HAVE UNIFORMS, I THINK TESCO SAID IT WAS STILL OKAY FOR ME TO SHOP HERE.

People actually believe that because they have a degree they are better than other people, that is like the saddest thing ever; that piece of paper saying you passed a couple exams doesn’t actually make you a good person, doesn’t even make you smart- just proves you know how to pass exams and in the grand scheme of things, everyone’s got a degree nowadays so it don’t make you special, it makes you the same as everyone else, it’s like people that memorise the whole Bible and somehow think now they are super-Christians…you just have a good memory.

ohhhhhh YOU DID NOT JUST TAKE MY PARKING SPACE WHEN YOU KNEW I WAS REVERSING IN THERE, that’ll come back on you!

WHEN ASOS SCREW ME OVER and don’t deliver my clothes when I paid £9.95 for same day delivery.

People who don’t give second chances when someone is deserving of one

People placing limitations on me! Grrr!

People dissin’ Primark

People that believe those kids are MJ’S coz they look like the COSMETICALLY RECONSTRUCTED version of him, this is not sci-fi

People that still say Michael Jackson abused children.

OLD PEOPLE THAT BARGE INTO PEOPLE You’re an OAP, not someone with a VIP pass to walk straight through me

People that say one thing to your face and a completely different thing when you turn around

Irish people that tell me we’re the same because of a sign that used to read ‘NO BLACKS NO IRISH NO DOGS’. So…collectively are we the same as dogs too? I like you, but it’s just not true

Rappers on street corners that I’ve never heard of that offer me their mixtape THEN tell me it’s £2 I got Guvna B “Scrapbook” for FREE I AIN’T PAYIN FOR THAT

People that assume things too much- everything you do they think it’s about them, you BREATHE and it’s because of them, and then they think you don’t like them, so then they call you and say ‘do you have a problem with me’ and it’s SO uncomfortable because the truth is you don’t even give them enough attention to have any opinion of them whatsoever, so instead, you find yourself sayingOh my gosh…I think you’re lovely 🙂 !!’ when really you don’t know what you think of them, but you also know that would hurt them even more; so tired of people assuming they know what you think- you’re wasting money on your rent, you might as well pack your bags and come and move into my brain seeing as you know the town in my head so well.

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14 Responses to “TIRED OF THAT Volume II : People”

  1. truthfully speaking... February 26, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    Loool why haven’t i been reading your blogs? Ah dedicated from today, ur amazing!

  2. Hmm? February 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    Are you illuminati? Why you have one eye closed?

  3. Jay January 24, 2011 at 8:19 am #

    Hiiiiiii-larious!!!!!! you are speaking the TRUTH right there!

  4. sofia January 21, 2011 at 11:58 pm #

    absolutely loved this Michaela
    THANK YOU I was laughing so hard but true talk I want to hear MORE poetry/spoken word about the whole dark skin light skin issue because some people really do have that whole ”if you’re light you’re alright’ mentality (ask the girls on road with blonde yaki weaves)
    jeeeeeeez why do light skin people think they are cute simply cos THEY ARE LIGHT?

  5. Vigrx January 20, 2011 at 5:04 am #

    Its a wrong concept of the people that the dark girl does and don’t this.
    I think that everyone have a right on live their life nobody can interfere in that…
    I totally agree on this post.

  6. Maya Simeon January 19, 2011 at 11:22 am #

    ROFLMHO!!!!!!! ah miks, ur KILLING it! 😀 PREEEEEAAAAACHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaaaa… a big “AMEN”
    from me 2 ALL of dat 😉 so when’s the book out??? xox

  7. Famara January 19, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    Oh my word! This is hilarious! Sister uv hit the nail on the head 4 everythin Most of these things go through my mind on a daily basis. We thank God 4 ur life x

  8. Kimberz Adamas Atkinson January 19, 2011 at 8:04 am #

    COMPLETE LEGEND… I WAS CREASING ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS READING THROUGH THIS ONE ARTICLE!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MICHAELA!

    -X-

  9. Yvonne I January 19, 2011 at 1:09 am #

    Oh My Days, you hit the nail on the head with those “demonic” women who have the audacity to leave a ladies restroom in such a state! I think it’s disgusting and wonder who the heck taught them thatthat is ok!!!

    Oh and Dissin primark is a joke, cos most people that do it, secretly shop there anyway!

    Lovin this blog!

  10. SPIRIT January 19, 2011 at 12:17 am #

    You are amazing!!!

  11. KJ January 18, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Loool Michaela! You had me laughing out loud ere mate! Too much! Love it x

  12. omo jesu January 18, 2011 at 6:47 pm #

    I Like This So True The Blacker The Berry, The Sweeter The Juice Honestly, A Ghanaian Dude In My School Says Black Girls Shouldn’t Use Lipstick Cos It Ain’t Meant For Them He Needs To Read This GOD Bless You

  13. Rachel Okay January 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    “you’re wasting money on your rent, you might as well pack your bags and come and move into my brain seeing as you know the town in my head so well.”

    THIS IS IT!

    • GIFTY January 22, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

      I love your honesty and how frank you are. I wish you could write a book or something or share some more thoughts on a youtube video!

      I totally agree with the whole look/image thing, such as ‘Being Black is in fashion’, black has always been beautiful its sad that many of us have conformed to a man made belief system and still profess to know God.I’m trying every day to break away from such mind sets that many of us have been conditioned to believe. Growing up, being tall as a child was not seen as supermodelicious, it was seen as a problem and not as anything considered to be celebrated or beautiful. Now, everyone is a wannabe American/british top model, breaking their legs in heels! We need to spend more time on psalm 139–I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE–God did not make any mistakes when he created us, the mistake we made as humans was to allow another misguided, uncircumcised philistine to define who we are.

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